They judge me without teaching me.


You cannot master without experiences. Period.

MyStory:

I reached the MBA Seminar Hall on time. As much as I expected there is less crowd and even less credible atmosphere. This conference is supposed to be National but from what I can see it is worse than a local one. I have had debates better than this conference. Anyhow, I walk upto the front desk and tell them my details. In return they give me an identity card, card holder, a pen, and a notepad. “The conference will start from 10 o’clock.” is what the faculty sitting behind the desk said.

My presentaiotn is before the lunch break but this is Incredible India, and so my presentaton is postponed after the lunch. Even after the lunch they give someone else permission to present before me. Okay. Now it’s my turn.

Let me tell you that I haven’t had any professional experience in presenting papers at conferences, national or international, whatsoever. “Bored” from the presentations, the panel is already getting irritated. As I start presenting, the “honorable” chief guest is turning his head left right, up and down, looking here and there. And when he couldn’t take it anymore, he picked up the mic and started asking questions only he could understand. I accept my paper wasn’t perfect but it was my first time too.

Even the people sitting in the room could see that senile and not-good-for-anything chief guest getting bored by hearing what he is supposed to be judging with open eyes and ears. After seeing that even I didn’t bother too much. I let him speak and all I did was say yes and yes.

I am sorry for making the story too long. But I had to describe and explain my point using an example. This is how academics and education system in India works. All our life our minds are programmed to think in terms of grades and a good job. Cram this and that, get good marks and get a decent job so that you get a soni kudi. A good girl. Yes. This is our mentality. This is how small we think. We believe in miracles and superstitions but we don’t believe in us or our abilities.

I mean why would we. What is the point? This is how we are raised. Good grades. High scores. College scholarships. A 9–5. Marry a girl and take care of her. Why? She is a grown and mature woman. Why can’t she take care of herself? You cannot clap with a single hand. You need two hands. She is as important in this relationship as her male counterpart.

I give a fuck to what people think

People don’t do what they want to because they are too afraid of what others are going to think.

The problem is not just singing. It’s everything that we are afraid to do.

How naive and a disgusted reason is that.

I mean I want to be a photographer. I love clicking pictures. But I can’t pursue my passion. Why? Because I am too afraid what my parents will think of me. And my parents are too afraid of what the society is going to think. This circle has been going on continuously in our lives and it will keep on going. Trust me.

I want help in my science project. I can ask the pretty girl from another department in my college. But what if she doesn’t like how I look or how I dress? What if I smell bad? What if I say something stupid and she hates me for the rest of her life?

What a shame! I feel so small and disgusted when I recall the fact that I have been living in a society like this. We are supposed to lift each other up. Trust me. An act of kindness never goes waste. Nevertheless, whether you do good or bad with someone, it will come back at you. It’s up to you to decide that is it good you want in life or a miserable death. The choice is completely yours.

Don’t worry beta, you are still too young to earn. I am here. Don’t worry.

The statement above is the most typical statement you will hear in any Indian home. Up until we graduate from a university we listen to these words almost on a periodic basis.

Before the day we graduate:

Don’t worry beta, son, you are still young. You don’t need to earn. I am here. You just focus on your studies.”

After the day we graduate:

“Go out. Get a job. You are an adult now. Be responsible. Earn money. How long are you going to live on your father’s pieces?”

And as we have no idea about how to earn money or how to get a job we feel helpless, scared, and worthless. Finances, Savings, Investment, etc. All these things are alien to us. We struggle with these our whole life because no one will make us understand these and we won’t bother.

The Solution

If only we could teach our children to be independent and work in harmony and not in competition.

There is always someone who is going to be better than you. Try to be a man of value, not of success. Aim for excellence. Don’t aim for mediocrity. Parents, teach your children the principles and values that will help them shape their character and not their personality. Don’t go after quick fixes. Make slow and permanent changes in them and yourself as well.

A nation is made by its youth. Do you know why America is a great country? Because they respect the individual choices of every single person. If a child wants to be a cook, he gets a degree in home science. If a child wants to be a cook in India he/she gets a life full of taunts and shame.

Listen to your children. Listen to each other. Try to understand what the other person is saying first and then be understood. Develop your character. Take care of relationships. And then use logic.

This is what the Greeks used: ethos, pathos, and logos.

  • ethos is the character and integrity.
  • pathos is the relationships.
  • logos is the logic.

And this is the order in which they are structured. The first character, second relationship, and then logic.

Bringing it all together…

  • Be independent first, then interdependent. First gain victory over you and then public.
  • Aim for mastery. Not mediocrity. Go all the way in.
  • Willpower is an excuse. Willpower is for those who haven’t made their minds.
  • You can do it.
  • I believe in me.
  • Learn completely and then learn again with experiences.
  • Have fun with life. This time will never come.

Thank you for reading the post. Have a happy life. Be awesome. Be happy. Keep smiling. It’s contagious. 😊

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